Planting corn this morning with the children
Have you noticed? My postings have been less frequent as of late. Often, when I sit down to write, I feel this need to say something meaningful - to somehow illustrate with words a certain experience, to digest and make sense of my thoughts. I've been having a hard time with this lately. Here's my best shot at why:
I'm in the midst of a huge life shift coming up in a mere six weeks, when we leave Mexico and move back to the United States. I'm also totally treading water to keep from drowning in all of my responsibilities. This entire month I have parent-teacher conferences, I'm packing and preparing to move across a not-so-nice border, and my little pattern business is asking a lot of my time as of late. (Lola will be out very soon!) Oh yes - and I'm embarrassingly behind on my emails. In addition, I have a few more projects that are in the works that I'll be able (hopefully) to tell you about sometime soon. In short, I'm beat.
Everything feels like it's coming to a close here in Mexico. I want to write about that - about the mixture of emotions I face every day. The whole experience certainly merits reflection. But I can't fit it into a blog post. Oh - and if you haven't read between the lines yet, this whole thing is about more than just leaving Mexico. I'm also leaving teaching, for the most wonderful of reasons. I will not be looking for a Montessori job in North Carolina because we hope to start a family. I'll be focusing on the pattern business, crossing my fingers that it brings in enough supplemental income to live on Patrick's grad school stipend and hopefully having some babies really soon and staying at home with them - the thought of which brings me such immense joy!
So there it is. I'm feeling excited beyond belief. Sad. Nervous. Really happy. All wrapped in one. Which is why I can't write about it in any intelligible way.
So I know you'll understand when I tell you that I need to take the pressure off of myself to put things into words. Instead of being frustrated by my inner emotional soup and my inability to figure out the darn recipe (and how to go about serving it - because right now it feels like it would go best with a little whine, if you know what I mean) I will be offering you a photo journal of sorts for the next few weeks. My wish is to make this space a pressure-free refuge by using my lens to capture some of my Mexico, in my all-too-short time left. I'm not sure how long I'll be short-winded, but I'm leaving that open-ended. It could be two weeks, it could be until we're finished with the move.
I just wanted to close this rather long-winded explanation of my short-windedness by saying thank you. For your support and dear comments, and for your encouragement ... without which I never would have fathomed putting my designs out there in this big, often scary world. I wish there was an adequate way to express my gratitude. How 'bout this - you all rock. Mil gracias a todos.