Today we welcome Marcy from Life is Good. Marcy is a fellow Montessorian, and I wouldn't be surprised if she was the first person who ever bothered to read this blog, way back in February 2007 when it was still "Montessori By Hand!" I've thoroughly enjoyed reading Marcy's witty, honest, and uplifting posts about her journey through pregnancy and motherhood - she and her son Donovan are just a step ahead of me and my little boy! When you get a chance, check out some of Marcy's gorgeous photos.
When Meg first asked me to write a post with the theme of "Motherhood is..." I thought it would be a pretty simple and easy one to write. But when I started thinking more concretely about what to say, I realized that it would actually be kinda hard. And that right there sums up motherhood in a way. Motherhood is in some ways such a simple, easy, natural thing. It is also so, so difficult and complex. Motherhood is a uniting force, but it can also feel very lonely. Motherhood is an experience so universal, and at the same time so unique and personal.
I became a mother a little over a year ago. It's not much of a stretch to say that the past year has been the hardest of my life. I've been sleep-deprived through most of it, feeling more exhausted than I ever thought possible. I have worried endlessly about this little boy that came into my life and into my care, constantly second-guessing my decisions and whether I was doing a good enough job. I have read countless parenting books, and become deeply annoyed by most of them. I have been "on call" 24/7, with never more than maybe a couple of hours "off" every once in a while. There have been tears, anger, and frustration. Yes, it has been tough.
But as that old, but so true, cliche goes, motherhood is both the hardest job I've ever had, and also the most rewarding. I think my son has made me laugh-- really laugh, those deep belly laughs-- at least once a day, every single day of his existence. My husband and I often turn to each other and gush about our little boy, wondering how in the world we wound up with a child who is so adorable, so smart, and so awesome. I'll watch him as he falls alseep at night, and my heart fills with such love for him and I wish I could just freeze that moment in time and keep it in my heart forever. I am in awe of him, seeing the world through his eyes as he absorbs everything around him. His every achievement, no matter how small, fills me with pride and joy. I adore him to death, and feel so honored to be his mother.
I know I have many years of more worrying, questioning, and probably some more tears ahead of me in my continuing journey into motherhood. I also know I would never trade this for anything in the world. Motherhood is so worth it.