Still visiting Mima and Papa, however this picture is from last month in Asheville, NC. Here in California the snow is covering the ground like hard frosting on a Christmas cookie - it's been so cold!
My mental to-do list must be at least twelve feet long. I'm starting to feel a lot of self-inflicted pressure to get "everything" done before we have to relocate to Philadelphia temporarily a few weeks before Lachlan is due to arrive. It looks like we will be saying goodbye to this normal life - our house, our kitchen, our town, our comfort and familiarity - around the first week of February. I will say that we're very happy with our decision to treat Lachlan at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia - they really seem to take families under their wings and help them through not just the surgeries, but with all of the other upheavals as well, from making sure that our health insurance covers the various treatments to helping us find a place to stay when we're there.
But yet ... I have this heavy feeling on my shoulders that if I don't work myself like mad before this big change that the business won't be able to run itself in our absence, or that it won't bring in enough to support us during this down time that we will need while caring for Lachlan. I'm really quite torn. I hate being on the computer while Finn is around, but there's always some email communication to tend to, always something to follow up on, always ... something. I'm trying to maintain my ability to be present to him and enjoy family life - to fill him up with love and comfort and attention that will hopefully carry him through those weeks when I have to spend a good deal of the day away from him at Lachlan's bedside. And then my mind starts going like crazy. I need to do this, this, this, and this. You might think that I must be a very type-A personality from reading this, but really I'm not - I'm usually fairly laid back about all of this stuff - business, other deadlines, etc. This urgency is a new feeling for me, and not one that I like.
Predictably, as the stress mounted, Finn and I got sick. There's nothing like a snowstorm, lack of internet access, and a whopper of a head cold to help slow me down. I need to remind myself that I can only do so much, and the most important thing right now is to enjoy this moment, which will never come again.
Right now, I'm really enjoying re-reading Grace's advent ideas. (And, I'm also totally okay with not doing anything elaborate this holiday season! But perhaps next year, right?)