Welcome, new readers! You can find more of my fiber philosophizing over on my Instagram account, and I'd love to offer you a 20% discount in my pattern shop for joining my newsletter community here. I strongly believe that sewing is self-care, and should be viewed through a lens of mindfulness. I'm glad you're here!

I've come to think of my body as an artistic canvas. I get to drape it with fluid fabric of any colors of my choosing, I get to form that fabric into shapes that I find interesting, flattering, and comfortable. I recently expanded the canvas to include tattoos that hold deep emotional meaning as well as aesthetic intrigue.

Unlike canvas, however, the body is not only subject to the artist's vision and direct hand- it is the work of life itself. There are lines on my body that came about through my own creative agency, and there are lines and contours that are written by growing babies, painful accidents, and joy-filled meals. There are crevices etched by worry, and wrinkles bearing witness to hysterical laughter. We all move through life with a body that is partially our own making, and partially at the whim of time and circumstance. My body is a visual artist in its own right – a storyteller – of all I have lived through. Through making my own clothes, I intend to honor both my artistic agency and lack thereof when it comes to living with this ephemeral body of mine.

I have long admired the work of photographer Jade Beall, and last year, I had the honor of having a photo shoot with my friend Jessi Blakely, as part of the process of opening to the beauty of my body's story. The intent was not purely about my own body acceptance, but to be a strong example to my son, Lachlan, who has some storied lines of his own – the first of which he acquired two days after birth. Three open heart surgeries and countless chest tubes later, a mere glance at his chest shouts of his story, his sorrow, his pain, and his strength. I want him to know that his scars are beautiful, and so I will embrace mine as well.

After the photo shoot, I was on my way to peace with sharing my body with life's paintbrush, but I still had a hurdle to cross: swimwear.

Intellectually, I believe that a bikini body is a body you put a bikini on. Emotionally, I always remember the times I overheard the words “really bad stretch marks." I remember the time I wore a bikini and I overheard a child asking a parent what was wrong with my belly. In front of my kids, I unabashedly state that my squishy skin is a testament to my wondrous ability to grow their very selves and carry them each around for nine months. I feel an obligation to show all the little kids that stretch marks are normal, but I am not made of steel. No advertisements feature women with stretch marks. If you have them, you're expected to cover them up. Unfortunately for me and my short torso, that meant ill-fitting one pieces that made me feel matronly and didn't help me have any artistic agency in my collaboration with the tattoos that life etched on my body.

I never thought sewing myself a Sophie Swimsuit would bring me into harmony with my body, but it has been transformative. The suit's design has helped me find a happy medium between feeling completely exposed to scrutiny and being a representative of love and acceptance of a mother's capacity to stretch and grow. The bikini bottoms cover most of my stretched-out skin, but I am happy to have a nice bit peeking out over the top. I reduced the rise of the bottoms just for that reason, and omitted the waist elastic so that my belly skin doesn't squish out over a tighter waistband. It's like putting on yoga pants instead of an elastic-waist pair. Big difference in comfort.

The details: My measurements are 29” underbust, 34.5” full bust, 29” waist, and 37” hip. I chose to make a size 4 top with a size 5 cup. In the future I will enlarge the cup slightly, as you can see that my measurements are 1/2” more than 5” underbust/full bust difference than recommended for a size 5 cup. I cut out a size 8 bottom.

The fabric is a denim lookalike swimwear spandex from The Fabric Fairy. I have a multi-colored version in my head, but this suit is an elegant (very) wearable muslin.

I can jump in this thing. Play with my kids. Bend over. All while feeling confident, secure, elegant, and creative. No store-bought swimwear can make you feel like that. Thank you, Heather, for being an agent of self-love. You can do it, too. It's not too hard – just one seam after another. #sewingisselfcare

I have a lot of plates spinning in the air with Sew Liberated right now. Thought I'd share a few in case you're wondering what we do around here when we're not hosing off muddy boys:

- We had a photo shoot yesterday afternoon with Jessi for our two new patterns slatted to come out in a few weeks - the first is a knit tee, the second is a most amazing sundress/dress with several pocket options!

- Patrick and I are interviewing students at NC State on Thursday, looking to bring on a few summer interns and, perhaps, a few more permanent employees come Fall.

- In order to transition the sewing studio into a shared office/creative space, we're knocking down a wall, putting in windows, insulating and finishing the ceiling, and putting in flooring ... starting in just two weeks! This remodel will make such a huge difference in our "cave," as we currently call the space - and it will make it more pleasant to be in come winter. This past winter, a very mild one at that, found us unable to work in there because it was so cold. 

- I have a few more behind-the-scenes sewing-related projects coming up for the rest of this year - details to come - that I'm quite excited about. 

All in all, lots of work, but we're hoping the interns will help us out in a big way this summer, and will allow us to move the business forward in a healthy way that doesn't compromise our ability to spend quality time with the boys. 

I'm feeling the need to pare down a bit in this space for the next few weeks. Life has a way of letting you know when you're going too fast, taking too much on.  Enter a baby who relapsed into sickness and complete lack of sleep and, well ... I need to step back. Take a breath. Work at a slower pace. Regain a sense of healthy rhythm after a busy holiday. Drink some hot cider. Take a warm bath. Go for a slow walk. Stop typing and take a nap.

I'll be quiet around here, communicating via pictures rather than words. A bit of a break - a rejuvenating winter quiet. From now until mid-January, be well, my friends.

More Christmas photos here

...and proceed to laugh heartily at her "compromised" state. The pregnant woman soon realizes that she has been duped by their tantalizing beauty. A knight in a pumpkin orange thrifted jacket raises his eyebrow but comes to the rescue anyway.

Hello! I'm just peeking out from behind the camera for a sec. Did I tell you that I'm doing the technical photography for the book? Not the photos of the projects themselves, but the step-by-step photo tutorials. And you know what? I think this part is pretty darn fun - at least it beats writing technical instructions. Bleck.

I love my cheap-o light box set up. I made one before while in Mexico to combat the mid-winter, low-light blues, but this one is much better. I use four daylight bulbs in shop lights that shine down from above.

We're off to our prenatal appointment this morning. It's the one where they make you drink that sugar stuff and draw your blood to test for gestational diabetes. Ick! Honestly? There's not much worse than getting one's blood drawn, in my opinion. I'd rather run a marathon. (And I have run a marathon, so you know I'm not exaggerating. Heh.) Thankfully the phlebotomist at the birthing center is a jolly lady who knows that wussies like me need to lay down, turn their heads the other way, and be distracted by lively conversation about anything other than needles and getting one's blood sucked out by one of the aforementioned devilish contraptions. :)

It's a wonder I took up sewing, isn't it? What with all of these needles that surround me at all times!

Soon enough, I'll be back to my happy needles, hopefully getting some good shots (with the camera, of course.)

I took a moment's pause just now to capture the winter afternoon sun as it lit up my desk.

The instructions and hand-drawn illustrations for fifteen book projects are due at the end of the day on Monday. Ten down.

Thank you, sun, for shining your light on such a pretty moment that I otherwise wouldn't have noticed.